What do you want to change into?

                 One day, I want to change into a leaf that fell from an old tree that is one hundred years old.

                If I were a leaf, I will fly into the sky which that I can see the view all over’s city’s scene. I will see the tall buildings that many people are working; I will see the construction cars going to a construction spot. I will also see the people in the water park playing with water. Even if they were soaked, they were very happy.

                 All in all, I want to change into a leaf if it is possible, because I will be free as leaf.

Roel
6/17/2011

Very good writing there Peter!
Try to change the tense of the story to the past tense.
Not: 'I will see...' but 'I would see...'. Also from 'sky which that...' please change to 'sky from where...'.

Nice job!

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